Is there a purpose in life? Is it only about studying hard, getting married, earning lots of money, screen time, and having a good time?
There isn't anything wrong with the above. Just eventually, we will be exhausted and then try another high to get going--alcohol, addictions, excessive eating, etc.
No wonder mental health issues are the number one concern now in many countries, including Singapore.
Research has shown that one of the leading causes of mental health disorders is a sense of loneliness and isolation.
Indeed, I was always alone most of my life, being the only son and last kid in the home.
Fortunately, I have had experiences that reassure me that I am not alone as long as I intend to serve. There are invisible forces at work.
The first incident happened during my early secondary school days. I was around 13 to 14 years old. My realization that one is called to a life of mission came to me spiritually while I was in the bathroom! As do many teens, I dreamt of becoming someone. I was preparing to get dressed for an audition (despite my father's objection) when suddenly, I heard a powerful inner voice telling me that I was destined to do other meaningful things. I was seeking approval and love to try to be an actor.
This inner voice told me I should seek more meaningful things in life, instead of superficial ones like transient fame and money – my reasons for wanting to be an entertainer. Instead, the inner voice revealed that I was destined to lead a genuinely meaningful life if allowed. From that day onwards, I aspired to become a valuable person for the world – perhaps a historian, a chemist, a teacher, or even a spiritual leader, however remote the possibility might have seemed in my circumstances at the time!
This little experience has stayed with me until now. Coupled with my interest in spirituality, it convinced me that I was created to be useful and that everything that happens can be transformed into good.
Fast forward - After graduating from the Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in Engineering (1982), I pursued a corporate career in various multinational companies. Despite a relatively successful career in the corporate world, I felt a deep sense of discontentment. I could not handle the never-ending office politics. Working daily in the office was like going to war. I felt the emptiness in my heart had worsened over the years, so much so that I was on antidepressants for some time. I finally got down on my knees and started praying for God's guidance and direction. "Surely, God does not want me to be in this situation. I don't think I want to live like this anymore." I had thought.
I soon started researching and took courses in various holistic therapies, such as spa therapy, reflexology, aromatherapy, touch therapy, and nutrition. Despite my passion and interest in these fields, I was unprepared to give up my full-time managerial position and a good salary. Besides, I was the sole breadwinner in my family. I needed to support the physical, financial, and emotional needs of my elderly parents. How could I give up my lucrative job?
After a period of part-time work in natural therapies, my decision to finally pursue a full-time career in natural medicine occurred in a spiritual moment. I was conducting massage training at a retreat on an organic farm in Malaysia.
My turning point in life came after three days of eating organic plant foods and being surrounded by plants and herbs. Thanks to the farmer, I touched the plants, tasted the leaves and flowers, and enjoyed their aroma—I could feel their healing vibrations.
These vibrations seemed to uplift me, flooding my body with love and opening my channels for the reception of universal intelligence. They inspired me, raised my consciousness, and brought me nearer to my soul, the secret chamber of peace.
An indescribable joy sprang from within me. It felt like a spring of water refreshing my heart.
I felt I was not alone in my life's struggles. I am a precious drop of water in an ocean.
The calling from plants and the awareness of God's love for me were so strong that I shed tears during the sharing session with the participants and the organizers.
After this spiritual awakening, I began my relentless journey to pursue plant medicine. All good things came my way, like meeting the right teachers, guides, and helping hands. I am very thankful for them.
Over the years, I have tried to work on myself, my weaknesses, my inner conflicts, etc., to heal others. So, I would be happy after practising naturopathy and herbalism. I would have a purposeful and happy life.
The truth is that it is just the beginning of seemingly endless struggles and disappointments. I had many ups and downs in my journey. I often felt like giving up and just going back and making money in the corporate world.
In Singapore, there is no support for my work, no association to fight for our trade, and no government support; the health ministry thinks we are just some weed medicine and is suspicious of us, and the media is not very friendly. I must struggle alone.
One of those memorable depressing periods happened in the year 2019.
My healing work as a medical herbalist discouraged me at that time. I wonder whether I should carry on. There was this mental constipation and a cloud of doubt above me.
An inner voice tells me to turn to one of my favorite spiritual guides, St Thérèse of Lisieux. St Thérèse of Lisieux (1873-1897) taught us the doctrine of the little way of complete childlike trust in God and surrender to His love.
For nine consecutive days before my trip to Museflower Retreat and Spa (located in Chiang Rai, Thailand) for a personal retreat, I asked St Thérèse of Lisieux, a French Saint, to obtain a sign of a rose if prayer granted.
After the nine-day prayer, I almost forgot about it because I thought it was too magical for such things to happen. It may be just superstitious. Roses are everywhere—wet markets, churches, florist shops, etc.
I checked myself into Museflower on December 3, 2019. My room number was 261. Early the following morning, as I stepped out of my room, I saw a single rose in front of my room.
I could not believe it. Upon checking with the resort management, I learned that roses are not part of the landscape.
Whether you believe it or not, it is an unforgettable spiritual experience, for I constantly experienced the saint's inspiration for my spiritual and professional life.
The most important lesson is - I am not alone. If I embrace life with a loving intention, the Universe /God will work with us.
Learn more about Sebastian's journey on our podcast,
Becoming an Herbalist.
